Aeroplankton Enthusiasts Society

Intangible Products for an Ephemeral World

Living in a Sneeze


We sneeze; we wipe; we move on; but, do we ever ponder just how awesome a sneeze is; what it is that’s tickling that nose lining, triggering those nasal nerve endings, or sparking a spastic nostril hemorrhage?

Most of us blame airborne allergens or cite seasonings as chief among the conspirators; yet, these unseen and misunderstood denizens of the nostrils depths do not act alone. Many forms of aeroplankton come to play in our snot-coated facial exhaust tubes. Microscopic critters, pungent aromas, temperature fluctuations, pain, and even the occasional self-induced anxiety attack can cause these oft’ unwanted nasal eruptions.

A single sneeze can travel over a hundred miles an hour, transporting air and saliva dependent plankton up to 150 feet away. The knee-jerk, society acceptable response to this God given method of plankton distribution is to stifle before launch or smother the lives of hundreds if not thousands of microorganisms in a sweaty pit or handkerchief. Imagine a soggy mattress crushing you as you left the house or garage for work!

So next time, before you reach for that box of fluffy aloe-saturated death, reach for the sky instead; nose raised in proud indifference of societal norms and spread the aeroplankton love.

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