Aeroplankton Enthusiasts Society

Intangible Products for an Ephemeral World

I Want My Life Back!


Whether mumbled in disgust or hurled at bloodcurdling speeds through aeroplankton habitat, this phrase has become a socially appropriate mantra of disappointment. We tend to lament such loss of life after particularly bad attempts at entertainment; however, the deep-reaching implications of these words may serve as intellectual dessert when considered further.

To truly evaluate the fallout of a ticket office bomb, we must do more than simply note the immediate devastation of hours. If we choose to (as most do) simplify, by ignoring the physical, spiritual, & emotional tolls; the cost of a trip to the theater is essentially time + money. By adding the amount of life spent affording a movie to the hours lost viewing it a truer picture of the cost is achieved:

1hr working @ $10per + 2hrs viewing = 3hrs life lost.

If we take this principle and apply it to our purchases, and account for repeat viewings we can achieve even more stupefying figures. The cost of a single DVD can be valued using our “life lost” method as (Once again we’re ignoring such inconvenient variables as gas, shipping, taxes, and the time spent affording those variables.):

2hrs working @ $10per + (2hrs viewing * 7 repeat views) = 16hrs life lost.

While I certainly would not recommend the adoption of this ill-conceived “life lost” method for anything beyond theoretical speculation. It does merit some consideration and/or application when evaluating the truly fruitless or purely indulgent. After all how much life did you spend on that latte?

Life Lost Calculator

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