Aeroplankton Enthusiasts Society

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Unsavory Oats

Posted on 2012.05.08 by Aeroplankton Enthusiast • Updated on 2024.10.31

While this short verse was written for a creative writing course in college, the motivation and subject of this poem was quite non-fiction; therefore, the following is dedicated to a particularly pretentious professor of History with whom I consistently maintained a less-than-level eye height:

Toxin tongued teacher,
got all hot and nasty,
like burnt oatmeal,
all moist and pasty,
with blackened roach.

He couldn’t swallow,
my inability to digest,
the nasty spoonfuls of rhetoric
he was serving.

He perceived my obvious distaste,
for his propaganda soup,
spilling frothy, from his lying lips;
no mop quite big enough.

Caught me sleeping,
as he reached some envisioned pinnacle,
the highlight of his tyrannical discourse,
another sanctioned Hitler,
in want of a death camp.

So I hold my shotgun tongue,
and choke down the fetid fumes of wrath,
denying excretions bliss,
retained instead…

’till ample happenchance,
peers it’s ugly head,
and in an explosion of my most inner-testines,
the soggy stench of my contempt,
is exposed!

Sadly, the original draft included a few unsavory expletives; for which I blame the freshness of the moment and a misguided perception of appropriate use. Eventually these words were replaced with more effective adjectives thanks to a few hours of sleep and the well-received direction of my writing professor & some reviewing classmates.

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Redundant Much?

Posted on 2012.02.24 by Aeroplankton Enthusiast • Updated on 2020.02.20
Common fungal spores (Aspergillus fumigatus)

Even those with the scantest spattering of Sherlock sense (and a keener than average memory) might have noticed the blatant similarities between this website and the blog (now defunct) from which it spawned…

Yes Originally, these similarities are were intentional and no, I do not enjoy fruitless exercises in redundancy.

It is difficult to cultivate much of anything from the thin; therefore, several seeds (and a few transplants) have been borrowed in order to germinate this freshly broken soil. While both gardens remain related, they should grow to become unique experiences with significant differences in focus and content. The blog will remain a source has since merged with this site, sharing it’s wealth of intermittent blather and pointless happenstance while this site will attempt to provide more relevant, purposeful, and fruitful vegetation. So, for now, excuse any redundant verbiage and duplicated content, reveling instead in the birth of something new.

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Compendium De Musica Nuptialis

Posted on 2012.01.04 by Aeroplankton Enthusiast • Updated on 2023.07.07

Here lies an entirely objective list of wedding appropriate music. An attempt has been made to be as comprehensive as possible (despite personal taste) with categorizations that hopefully represent each of the varied emotions that inevitably come on such a special day. When multiple versions of a song exist the least like a soggy duvet is suggested.

Note: This list is subject to influence, addition, rearrangement and revision without notice; so visit often or subscribe for the latest.

Savoring the Sappiness

Ahh! Can’t Stop this Sap!

Endearing Songs of Enduring

For the Fun-Loving

Touch of Twang

Electronica with Euphoric Euphemisms

Be-Boppin’ & Rockin’ (the Yacht)

Cute, Odd & More

Classical, Musical, Opera & Instrumentals

*they die

What About… ??

So, why didn’t this song or that make the cut? Here is a much-too-short and inadequate explanation of the convoluted requirements used to determine these songs appropriateness:

  1. The focus must be on love, faithfulness or gratitude – It’s actually quite sad that many of the songs typically played at weddings are about substance abuse, alcohol, lust, infidelity, heartbreak, absolutely nothing, or an animal of some kind.
  2. It must be devoid of inappropriate language – Because Grandma (if not the Bride) might still be disturbed by cursing, blasphemy, racial slurs and other derogatory lyrics (regardless of context).
  3. No funeral dirges! – Often found trying to sneak in under the guise of “Slow Dance”, these ballads to the terminally ill or chronically depressed do not belong anywhere near a wedding day; unless your goal is to drown your guests in mascara. If it never leaves the minor key, is painfully slow, or solemn enough to drudge along beside a casket to, leave it be (and off this list).

Obviously, this list is by no means complete and will continue to grow as I stumble upon or remember new and old music of worth. As the list grows it may be necessary to narrow the focus with the addition of new criteria; until then the list stands.

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